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Life and Death in Oolong Morblock

Three months after committing the perfect murder, Mafling Yonrungon died of a heart attack. When death came, Mafling was amazed at how much it hurt. In fact, it took him a full three hours to die, which probably helped him survive the experience in pretty good shape. A great many people suffered annihilating disintegration as they died, and were never seen or heard of again.

"However," said Mafling, picking himself up from the floor, "the world is going to hear and see a great deal from me yet."

For someone who had just died, he was uncommonly confident. Like many of the recently dead, he was in denial, as yet refusing to admit just how radically his circumstances had changed. However, even so, his confidence was not entirely without foundation. He did, after all, have his pre-death agreement with Nenny Chepzik.

After the really unfavorable result of his latest medical checkup, which had suggested that he was in danger of having a massive stroke and dying suddenly, Mafling had done his deal with Nenny. Mafling's personal lawyer had drawn up a pre-death agreement, Nenny had signed on the bottom line, and Mafling had paid off his son-in-law by promoting him to the position of Vice President of Corporate Transportation, which meant that Nenny got to run the car pool.

In retrospect, Mafling should have done far, far more. Despite advance warning, he was grossly underprepared for his own demise. But, once you're dead, you have no option but to make the best of things.

*

By profession, Miki Tree was a woman.



The End

A very early version of this story called "Life and Death in Oolong Jalabar" was first published in Dark Matter, in the Year 2000 edition (ed. Christopher Hennessey-DeRose) (La Canada, United States, ISSN 1098-9420) (pp 4-6; 1,086 words). A radically revised and expanded version of 7,063 words titled Life and Death in Oolong Morblock made its first appearance when posted on Hugh Cook's website zenvirus.com on 2003 January 10 Friday. Copyright © 2000, 2003 Hugh Cook.



Author's note: another Oolong Morblock story can be read online - Astral Talent.



COOKING STINGRAY


Last night I cooked stingray for the first time. This was an interesting culinary adventure, but to be honest I cannot say that it was an unqualified success. In fact, it rather reminded me of the time when I tried to establish whether you can cook steak in a steamer. (Answer:








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